Sad but true: My 1990 Jeep Cherokee is going to find a new home. We’ve had great times together. We’ve traveled to preach to a lot of people in a lot of places. And she’s been a reliable mode of transportation and a downright fine vehicle for about 160,000 miles now (not all incurred by me).

But the case against her is building (from now on, I’ll call it it instead of her. I think you’re supposed to call your car she/her, but I just can’t do it. Feels kinda fruity. Besides, it’s a freakin’ Jeep, quite the manly vehicle.)

1. It’s leaking oil really bad. Therefore, you can track everywhere I’ve been. This is going to really hurt me in my quest to secretly take over the world.

2. The driver’s side window won’t roll down. This makes me look super cool at drive thrus and ATMs all over town.

3. The air conditioner/heater only works in two modes: high and off. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful to even have air and heat, cause in some of my cars the velocity of the air conditioner was determined by how far you rolled down the window. But cranking the heat on high for 5 minutes until I’m sweating then rolling down the window for 2 minutes until I’m shivering seems like a pretty unappealing way to spend the winter.

4. The CD player got stolen a few months ago. Silence is not my strong point. I need tunes. I need a soundtrack as I drive. A theme song as I roll through the city. Like Rocky.

5. The back doors don’t automatically lock anymore. And I’m too lazy and forgetful to lock them manually. So I’ve had a guitar and a bunch of other equipment stolen recently. If you stole my stuff, I pronounce this curse upon you: All of your babies will be born bald headed and naked.

6. It broke down on me today. It’s the starter, the man said. It’s in the shop. But you know how a vehicle gets to a point where it’s like, “I’m not going to put any more money into this thing… “? Well I’m there. I’m going to fix it and then sell it for whatever I can.

I love my Jeep. I always will. My mom and pops helped me buy it not too many years ago. And I appreciate it.

So this is kind of like a funeral. Or a custody hearing. Or a tribute.

What car will I drive next? I dunno. Right now I’m lamenting.

Breaking up is hard to do.

It’s so hard to say good by to yesterday.

Yesterday…