Thanks for reading my blog.
Thanks for letting me speak into your life, even if just in some small way, through what I write and what I preach.

To those of you who are a part of Elevation Church, thanks for what you do to make the mission move forward. Our best is ahead, and it’s an honor to be your pastor.

I don’t take it for granted, and I hope the proof of my appreciation will be the passion I bring to my ministry for years to come, by God’s grace.

Happy Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving we loaded up the SUV and made the 4 hour trip to my hometown: Moncks Corner, South Carolina.  It’s a great place to be from.  I’m proud of my roots.

Located 30 miles north of Charleston, South Carolina, Moncks Corner is a bustling metropolis which has quickly become the cultural hub of the Southeastern United States of America.  And by that I mean they got a Super Wal-Mart a few years ago.  Big time.

Every time we cross into the town where I grew up I’m flooded with vivid memories about my childhood and adolescence.  They’re almost all good.  I had great parents, good friends, and relatively few heartbreaks during my 18 years in this town of 6,000 people.  (Actually, I think the population is significantly higher these days.  6,000 was the number when I left for college.)

For some reason, on this trip to Moncks Corner, I started thinking about some of the lessons I learned growing up in a small town.  Over the next few days, I’ll blog a few random things I appreciate about my small town upbringing.

I’m no John Grisham, so don’t expect a picturesque description of my back porch or a detailed account of my early morning quail hunts.  Primarily because I’ve never gone hunting.  Instead, I just want to share a reflection or two on how growing up in Moncks Corner shaped my character and approach to life in a positive way.

Disclaimer: Big cities are great too.  If you were born and raised in Boston, more power to ya.  I’m just sharing from my experience.  Hopefully my musings will relate to you in some way.

One of the questions asked was, “For those of us who only know Pastor Steven from the stage, what is he like?”

I think I am going to have fun answering this question. Where should I begin?

When I first met PF, one of the main things that attracted me to him was his dynamic personality and his love for people. Even today, he has a way of making every person he meets feel special and liked. I used to joke with him that he had more best friends than anyone I knew.

He is extremely musical. He can sing and play the guitar. He can hear notes in his head. One of the first times I ever saw him lead a large group of people for a common vision was through the music ministry at our college BSU. Many people don’t know that he led the worship AND preached the first year or so of our church. When we began to talk about hiring someone to lead music, our team was so picky because we truly loved it when PF lead the worship.

He is more introverted than he comes across. He is not energized by people. His idea of fun is hanging out at home with me and the boys and maybe one other couple.

He cares a lot about his health, now. He used to be the craziest eater. When we first got married, it was nothing for him to eat a 1 lb bag of peanut m&m’s (his favorite candy) and one of his favorite meals was hotdogs. He now eats with such moderation. He enjoys a few m&m’s now and then but eats very reasonably and I can’t remember the last time he ate a hotdog. He works out regularly.

He is a neat freak. His car looks like a rental and his closet is immaculate. He is really bothered by carpet that is stained or needs to be vacuumed.

He is super picky about the sound at our church. I would hate to be the sound guy at any of our campuses.

He chews things. The ends of his pens look like a puppy got a hold of them. He also chews hard candy, never sucks on it. Even cough drops.

He shakes his feet when he is trying on shoes at a store to see if they fit.

He loves to match. He would never wear a brown belt with black shoes. He can really obsess about this one.

He truly walks with God.

He is his worst critic.

He has an amazing ability to call things out in people.  He challenges the people around him.

He loves God and he loves people and it is an honor to be his wife.  Ok, you’re puking now.  I wish everyone could know him like I do.

Many of you ask specifically about my role on the weekends. This is a complicated question because my role has changed so much as our church and our family has grown. However, even though my role has changed, my objective on the weekends has remained the same. My primary goal is to support my husband on the weekends.

In the early days, my way of supporting my husband was more involved. I sang back ground vocals every Sunday for the first 18 months of Elevation. During the first year, I also helped out in our children’s ministry after singing. I taught stories in Ekidz, lead a small group and served as a one on one. Whatever was needed.

After the birth of our second child, Graham, I had to refocus my priorities. Getting to a rehearsal at 6am on a Sunday morning was not helpful to my husband or my kids. There were others who could fill that spot. So for the past 18 months my role has developed into a more supportive role for my husband.

Currently, I sit through every service that he preaches live. Why? He likes me there and he wants my feedback. I am backstage with him, helping him get dressed, talking about the message etc…

We are blessed to have great volunteers who are called to help our family, one on Saturday, one on Sunday. Saturdays are more intense, so the boys stay home, play and get to bed on time. Sundays, the boys and I attend the first two services PF preaches at.

Elijah and Graham don’t sit through the whole service (our children’s ministry is much more fun), but they do get to hear some of the worship and go backstage to visit their dad (and eat his food). After their second service, they go home with some good friends of ours for lunch and naps.

Meanwhile, PF preaches one more time, and I attend that service as well. Afterwards, we head home for lunch (take out), debriefing of the day and rest. The boys come home around 4. On the weekends where he preaches Sunday night, we vary what we do.

The schedule and tasks may change, but my purpose remains the same. The supportive role I play may not look or, at times, feel important but I know that it is. I would encourage all women married to men in the ministry to figure this out for their family. And men? Be honest with your wife. Tell her what you need from her.

Clearly define your roles and priorities and figure out what that looks like for your family and your ministry situation.