Pastor Steven Furtick

Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Holly Answers… How do you protect your marriage and family?

Hello readers of stevenfurtick.com. My husband and many of our staff members are currently en route to Charlotte after a very productive week spent in Uganda, Africa. In order to give PF (my shorthand for Steven Furtick) some time to recover from jet lag, I offered to take over his blog this week.

I can’t promise I will get to each question that was submitted, but I should be able to combine a few. I also can’t promise my posts will be as to the point as PF’s, truly, I cannot compete with his language genius, but I will do my best to be concise and not ramble.

Ok let’s get to it!

Many of you asked questions about our marriage, the pace of our ministry and how that translates at home. I feel like the answer to that is simple, we fight to keep our marriage strong. We set priorities and respect each other. We understand the seasons of ministry and we cut each other slack.

One person asked me, “Is Pastor Steven really ‘home’ when he’s home?”

I know that this is a struggle for him. But he works very hard at it. Is he perfect? No. But I understand that ministry is not a job that you can leave at work. When you pastor a growing church, you have a lot on your mind. I can say that 99% of the time, he will put it away until our boys go to bed. He never comes into the house on the phone. On the flip side of that, I understand that there are times where he needs to sit in the driveway to finish a call so he can give his attention to his family when he comes in.

We are a team. We talk about church a lot. Sometimes it’s talking about his message for the weekend. Sometimes we dream about the future. Other times we talk about his frustrations and discuss solutions to problems. If I want to be a part of his world, I have to take the good with the bad.

We protect the things that are important to us. Like date night and family time, every week. Yes, we go on a date every week. We budget for it. And we spend quality time together as a family each Friday. We say no a lot.

We carefully manage our calendar and strategically work in weekends off to take a break from the fast pace of Elevation church. Sometimes this means I tag along with him to an outside speaking engagement and we make a weekend of it. Other times we take our kids on vacation and give them undivided attention with very minimal calls to check in back home.

We aren’t locked into holidays. Who says you have to hunt for eggs on Easter Sunday and open presents on the 25th of December?

We work around stressful days of the week. Like Saturday mornings, before it all starts and Sunday nights, after it is all over, I never ask him to change a diaper, watch the kids, cook a meal or fix something (ok, I never ask him to fix things, just not his strength).
The way I see it, keeping a calm house, especially on the weekends, is my ministry to people who are far from God who will come to our church each weekend. I may not run the children’s ministry or sing on the stage, but what I do is essential to the work of God at Elevation Church.

Is it easy? Of course not, but every successful marriage is made up of two people who are understanding of each other, who put one another first, and who make it work, no matter what their circumstances.

Ok so much for my promises to be concise and not ramble. I’m done now. Happy Monday!

We’re doing great

Someone asked me the other day how I was doing.
I told him I was doing great.
That answer didn’t satisfy him.
No, really,” he wanted to know, how was I really doing?
“I’m really doing great.  Really great.”

My frustration escalated when he asked me, once again for good measure:
“Are you really?”

What was this, Jesus restoring Peter on the beach?  I was half expecting this guy to follow up with: “Feed my lambs.

I finally got him to disclose the reason for his interrogation.  He explained:
It’s just that, given the rate at which your church has grown, I don’t see how you can possibly be doing great.  Maybe you’re doing great as a pastor, but how about as a husband, father, and person?  Are you really doing great?”

I appreciated his concern.  And I’m not perfect.  I struggle with the same things you struggle with: sinful habits, pride, insecurity, selfishness…just to name a few.  And I don’t mean to come off sounding like I’ve got it all together.

But this guy’s question made me take a second look at how I’m really doing.  And thankfully, I realized, I’m doing great.

We’re doing great.  Holly, Elijah, and Graham are the best family a guy could ask for.  I spend a lot of time with them, and they seem to enjoy it as much as I do.  I’m in love with my wife.  I date her and we talk about our issues.  We deal with them and we move forward.  We’re a team.

I love the people I work with.  I feel like I have the most healthy configuration of team members I’ve ever had working with me in ministry right now.

I feel very good physically, and although the stress level can get really high during seasons, I think I’m as well rested as the pastor of Elevation Church could possibly be.  I owe that to the way this church supports my health and sets me up for success.  And the support of an amazing wife.

So, yeah, I’m doing great.  We’re doing great.
And I just thought I’d take a moment today to give God the glory and let you know.

Final Friday

I’ve decided to no longer post blog entries on Fridays.  There may be exceptions and I may change my mind, but for now we’re going to Monday-Thursday office hours here at stevenfurtick.com.

Since Fridays are Furtick Family Days, feel free to follow the fun on Twitter.

And I’ll see you Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday here on the blog.  But probably not Fridays.  Don’t worry.  Perry,  the most consistent blogger in the universe, will be on call.

The Tongue

I’m finishing up our James series this Sunday with a message about the tongue.

Elijah B. has been working on a little Psalm 34:13 scripture memory that fits very nicely.