Pastor Steven Furtick

Stage One: Reflection

Dealing with disappointment in a systematic way begins with unfiltered reflection.  You’ve got to stare down your disappointment before you can deal with it in a productive way.

Ideally, this process would begin with prayer.  And your prayer would be laced with gratitude, along with acceptance of God’s perfect and holy will.

In reality, most of us need a lot of help getting to that point.

I generally start my process of reflection by talking it out with a few people I trust.  I have to be selective about who I’m reflective with, because when the wound of disappointment is fresh, I may say some things that I’ll want stricken from the record in retrospect.  But it’s very important that I can tell a few close people how I really feel in a pretty raw way.  They can affirm the stuff that’s valid, and talk me down off the ledge about the stuff that’s not.

You may be more introspective.  Your process may begin with you and a legal pad, emptying your disappointments like buckets so you can have the capacity to bring them to others when the time is right.

Above all, don’t neglect to take it to the Lord in prayer.  When you do, respectfully state your disappointment to Him.  He already knows about it-much more comprehensively than you do.  And He can handle it.  Besides, He’s the one in the best position to do something about it.

Face your disappointment.  Don’t try to sneak up on it from behind.  That’s a coward’s way to fight.  Half the time, when you stand toe to toe with your disappointments you’ll discover that they’re not nearly as big as you made them out to be.  The other half of the time, at least now you know what you’re up against.