Many of you ask specifically about my role on the weekends. This is a complicated question because my role has changed so much as our church and our family has grown. However, even though my role has changed, my objective on the weekends has remained the same. My primary goal is to support my husband on the weekends.

In the early days, my way of supporting my husband was more involved. I sang back ground vocals every Sunday for the first 18 months of Elevation. During the first year, I also helped out in our children’s ministry after singing. I taught stories in Ekidz, lead a small group and served as a one on one. Whatever was needed.

After the birth of our second child, Graham, I had to refocus my priorities. Getting to a rehearsal at 6am on a Sunday morning was not helpful to my husband or my kids. There were others who could fill that spot. So for the past 18 months my role has developed into a more supportive role for my husband.

Currently, I sit through every service that he preaches live. Why? He likes me there and he wants my feedback. I am backstage with him, helping him get dressed, talking about the message etc…

We are blessed to have great volunteers who are called to help our family, one on Saturday, one on Sunday. Saturdays are more intense, so the boys stay home, play and get to bed on time. Sundays, the boys and I attend the first two services PF preaches at.

Elijah and Graham don’t sit through the whole service (our children’s ministry is much more fun), but they do get to hear some of the worship and go backstage to visit their dad (and eat his food). After their second service, they go home with some good friends of ours for lunch and naps.

Meanwhile, PF preaches one more time, and I attend that service as well. Afterwards, we head home for lunch (take out), debriefing of the day and rest. The boys come home around 4. On the weekends where he preaches Sunday night, we vary what we do.

The schedule and tasks may change, but my purpose remains the same. The supportive role I play may not look or, at times, feel important but I know that it is. I would encourage all women married to men in the ministry to figure this out for their family. And men? Be honest with your wife. Tell her what you need from her.

Clearly define your roles and priorities and figure out what that looks like for your family and your ministry situation.